Wednesday, December 7, 2016

Mother of the year

3:00 pm. Mommy installs a kickstand on Child's bike, which is newly liberated from its training wheels. Best mommy ever!  Victorious biking commences.

3:15 It begins to rain.

3:20  Child asks for the password to the tablet.  Mommy declines to provide it.  Worst mommy ever.

3:20  Child informs Mommy that refusal to divulge said password will result in the withholding of the cuddles and the hugs . . . FOREVER!!!!  Mommy informs Child that the tablet decision has not been overturned.

3:22  Child pretends to fall down the stairs.  Wailing commences.  Mommy arrives, only to be told that hugs are forbidden.  Mommy shrugs and walks away.

3:23  Wailing continues.

3:24 Child informs Mommy that the only way to regain the cuddle privileges is for Mommy to slide down the stairs on her butt.  With no pants on.  Mommy declines.

3:25 Wailing recommences.  On account of Mommy refusing to strip for a slide down the stairs.

3:30  Wailing continues.  Child claims to have rug burn on his face.  Mommy advises that he discontinue rubbing his face on the carpet.

3:45  Child invites Mommy to play with Play Doh.  Mommy accepts and begins playing.  Child steps out of the room, only to return a moment later.  Completely naked.  Mommy shrugs.

And scene.


  1. The extent to which nakedness figures into motherhood is unexpected.